”HEAVEN ON EARTH” - Signs, Songs and Wonders Of His Love

By Mary Lindow
Last year on December 21st 2020 (which was the 1st Day of Winter) Steve and I drove to pick up salads for our dinner. It had been a challenging month having just had his Mother pass into heaven while in WuhanCovid-19 lockdowns in a nursing facility. 
 
To be honest, we were a little weary and tender in heart, and still had preparations to do for our Family Christmas Day dinner and celebration with our Son Joel and his wife Angela and our 4 Grandchildren. Our youngest son Tim and his wife Liz were in Texas with her family. This had also been during the most severe time of lockdowns and restrictions in our State.
Everything felt hard, and dark, and mean.
 
As we were driving away after picking up salads,
my sister texted and asked if we were going to look for
the  “Christmas Star”,
Or, the two planet convergence taking place that evening at dusk. I had wanted to see this and had forgotten! So we aimed the car West and watched the sky!
 
We live at an altitude of 5290 feet above sea level and have a glorious view of the Colorado Rocky Mountains. At this specific time of year the sun sits at a very low angle in the western sky and when it dips behind the mountains, there is an almost greenish-aqua reflective light, and at 5:15 MDST we saw the "Christmas Star" or two planets very closely spaced together (to human eyes) start to take shape in the Western sky.
 
We quickly drove to a favorite hilltop location, not too far from our home where we often go to walk and enjoy a complete 360-degree view of our surrounding area and state. We thought that at night and away from city lights we’d have a great place to see this phenomenon and view it away from too many people. This event marked the first time since 1623 that the two planets Saturn and Jupiter have passed this close to one another and also marked the nearly 800 years since the planets aligned at night. As a result, some have referred to the planetary alignment as forming a "Christmas star," in reference to the Star of Bethlehem, since the event falls only a few days before Christmas.
 
As we drove in thinking we’d take the dirt road up to the hill where there was a parking area, all around us there were HUNDREDS of people parked on the dirt driveway up the hill and on the side streets of the neighborhood surrounding it!
 
HUNDREDS of people were standing on the hill, looking Westward and upward, looking for the "Christmas Star".
The most unusual thing was taking place though.
There was a hushed "awe" in this big crowd.
 
People were either talking low or they were whispering, as if this was a sacred moment not to be disrespected by loud noises. No one was talking on his or her cell phones! WOW!
 
You could feel the questions and the cries and thoughts of those standing there watching and looking up into the sky.  You could sense the desperation of many wanting to know what to do in such and strange and dark time on planet earth and wondering why this event was taking place at this time!
 
We drove around the entirety of the hill's lower neighborhood road,
looking in amazement at all of the people, and a sudden wave
of what I would call "travail" moved me to tears and prayer.
 
Steve and I began to cry out the Father to touch the souls of those looking up into the sky, knowing that all of them are fully aware of the troubled days that they were living in. We prayed that they would risk and speak from their weary hearts to the God who hung those radiant planets that were glowing in the sky, just for them, just at this very moment in time.
 
God SO Loves the World!
He sent his Son...
…So the world might know His full expression of deep commitment to the people He created with the tips of His fingers and the breath of His being.
 
We saw more than just the "Star" that night!  We saw people, engaging in wonder!
 
Of course we know it wasn’t "THE" Christmas Star shining so very brightly in the sky, on the longest and darkest day/night of the year! (The Winter Solstice), but doesn't the Lord create things that would show signs and wonders in the heavenlies?
 
WHY DID GOD ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN THAT NIGHT,
DURING THE CUSTOMARY SEASON ON EARTH WHERE PEOPLE CELEBRATE
THE BIRTH OF CHRIST, WHEN THE EARTH WAS IN SUCH TURMOIL?
(And still is!)
 
Because He knows that if He can use something to draw people to himself,
He will do it! 
 
Psalm 57:10-11 says,
“Your love is so extravagant it reaches to the heavens;your faithfulness so astonishing it stretches to the sky!
Lord God, be exalted as you soar throughout the heavens.May your shining glory be shown in the skies!Let it be seen high above all the earth!”
 
Of course it’s was not the actual date of the birth of Jesus Christ in December,
nor was this the actual star that was seen by the shepherds and Wise men.
But God knows mankind knows the stories and that there was a Star to guide them, so, He wastes nothing in order to draw all men to himself.
 "This is what I will do in the last days— I will pour out  MY Spirit on everybody
and cause your sons and daughters to prophesy, and your young men will see visions
and your old men will experience dreams from God. 
The Holy Spirit will come upon all my servants,
men and women alike, and they will prophesy. 
I will reveal startling signs and wonders in the sky above,
and mighty miracles on the earth below.  - Acts 2:17 -19
 
These planets would be closest to each other in the sky on Dec. 21, appearing only a tenth of a degree apart but they would remain in close alignment for a few days and would be easily visible to the naked eye when looking toward the slight southwest west just after sunset on first day of winter in the Northern Hemisphere.
 
NOW! THIS IS THE PART WHERE THE KINDNESS
AND SUPERNATURAL TOUCH OF GOD,
TOOK PLACE FOR STEVE AND I!
 
We had had a very intense and sad family upset with some stressed out relatives the night before and had done a bit of damage control and counseling of everyone, but our hearts were hurting over words that had been spoken and the pain that they had caused for many. (Holidays can often bring out the dysfunctions and anger in some people who tend to not address personal issues.) We gently but firmly coached a few involved to see things more accurately and to go and correct there bad choice of words and apologize. They did, but the upset left everyone feeling grieved and raw.
 
On Christmas Eve we like to take a tray of home baked treats to a few of our neighbors and wish them a Joyful Christmas. I had asked Steve to run a final tray across the street to some neighbors who hadn’t been home earlier.  As I was standing at the kitchen sink rinsing out a bowl that had held cookie dough, I was talking to the Lord and sharing my heart and sadness with Him about missing my precious Mother in Law, the strangeness of the dark world of a bio-terror weapon that was causing such fear and sickness, and the grief I felt after the tense family situation. 
I asked Him to pour over Steve and I, his holiness and peace and I asked him to receive an offering of praise out of this sorrow, thanking him for coming to earth as a Savior in such a dark and wicked world.
 
I then had a thought that reminded me, that the “Christmas Star was still visible in the sky on that night and I realized the timing right then would be perfect to view from our front porch. We have this unusual glow in the West in the winter months when the sun is setting and I could see the hue as I walked toward our front door, which has glass in it. 
As I stepped out onto the porch I could see the two stars, which were a bit more separated at this point, but absolutely clear.
 
What took place next was something I have no explanation
as to where it came from, but the timing of it
was so precise and overwhelming
that I just stood there in awe, and wept.
 
A CHORUS OF VOICES BEGAN SINGING SILENT NIGHT, Holy Night, Son of God, Loves Pure Light, Radiant beams from thy holy face, with the dawn of Redeeming Grace, Jesus Lord at thy birth, Jesus Lord at Thy Birth.
There were no instruments accompanying the voices and it wasn’t coming from a house or car nearby. It was out in the open air and reverberating over our street, softly and simply.
 
Steve was coming back across the street about the time the voices began to sing and we stood there on our lawn looking at the stars growing brighter as the sky grew darker, and marveled at this singing.
It was just one song. Then no more. 
(We wondered if there was an outdoor service somewhere and maybe the sound was travelling, but the words were very clear and understandable.)
 
THE MOMENT WAS AS IF WE WERE SUSPENDED IN TIME, and the Presence of God softly fell on us and around us, and soothed our weary souls. 
We felt His Rest come upon us, and understood the awe that the shepherds must have experienced on that first real nativity night when, “Suddenly there appeared with the angel a great multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rests!”  
-Luke 2:13-14
 
ALL I CAN TAKE AWAY FROM THESE EVENTS IS THAT GOD ALMIGHTY
SEES AND KNOWS EVERY MINUTE DETAIL OF OUR EVERY DAY.
He sees our struggles and our sorrows and our love for Him as well!
 
WE ARE IN A TIME LIKE NO OTHER TIME BEFORE ON EARTH, and yet the history of evil men and women attempting to stop the power of the Savior and the King of Heaven moving on earth among His people, has been a non-stop war since time began.
 
We are to be expecting HIS evidence in the earth with great exploits
and moves of His Dynamic Force.
 
He is not unaware of our great need for His Help and Protection from filthy and evil men and women who are given over to demonic possession.
 
We live in day and age where it will take Divine Intervention
to shake the lukewarm believer out of passivity,
and for the world to know that God is Sovereign.
 
BE READY AND EXPECT SIGNS AND WONDERS.
Test them. Be alert.
Be Ready to tell of the Wonders of His Love.
 
LET EVERY HEART PREPARE HIM ROOM!
AND
LET HEAVEN AND NATURE SING OF THE WONDERS OF HIS LOVE!
 
Duplication and sharing of this message is welcomed provided that complete message, Podcast and website information for Mary Lindow is included.
Thank you. Copyright © 2021 THE MESSENGER " ˜ Mary Lindow
www.marylindow.com
www.marylindow.podbean.com
 

FORERUNNERS, UNIFIERS AND THE ARMY OF GOD - A Prophetic Vision and Insight

 By Mary Lindow Through The Holy Spirit
 
TODAY’S PODCAST IS GOING TO BE AN INTERESTING ONE!
What I’m sharing on this specific podcast is about a vision that I had when my husband and I were first engaged. I was staying in his parent’s home and my husband had his own house about 10 miles away. We spent a lot of time talking together and praying and just contemplating what our future would look like in the Lord, and how he was going to use us, when Steve would come over to spend time with me after work.
One evening I had gone into the living room of my in-laws to play the piano and worship and sing to the Lord, and while I was worshiping Him and enjoying being in His presence, I had what would be described as a screen being dropped out in front of my eyes take place, and I had a very visual picture to watch or as the Bible would call it, a vision.
I SAW MYSELF RUNNING ACROSS SOME SEMI-ROCKY LAND and Steve was behind me. He was trying to direct a group of individuals to stay in line and be in unity together.
All of us had what looked to be like a stretchy headband wrapped around our heads and across our foreheads. Attached on the front of these were round lights like miner’s lamps. Some of lights on the people in the line where Steve was trying to get them to come into unity and walk together would flicker and not come on brightly. Others were very bright and consistently steady.
I was running ahead like a scout and the word “forerunner” came into my mind as I was running ahead. I turned around and looked at what Steve was doing and he was trying to stop these individuals from elbowing each other and fighting over whose theology was the most correct.
 
ABOVE THE HEADS OF THESE INDIVIDUALS I NOTED THAT THERE WERE DENOMINATIONAL CHURCH ORGANIZATIONAL NAMES AND ALSO NONDENOMINATIONAL TITLES.
I turned back around and continued my scouting and forerunning and was jogging at a relaxed pace, but I knew I was heading towards something in front of me that I needed to get to.
The path had embedded rocks and bumps that I had to avoid so I wouldn’t trip. The lamp or miner’s light strapped to my forehead kept a bright light steadily beaming in front of me.
Suddenly, in front of me, was a large chasm or a gap and I had to stop and pull back so I wouldn’t fall headlong into the huge gap.
There was no possible human way to run and jump over it and I was at a dead stop staring over the edge. Intuitively, I knew I needed to get to the other side and that there was something very important for me to engage in and be a part of.
But! I didn’t see a ladder or a bridge long enough or safe enough in any direction, to try to cross over with.
 
I Heard A Voice In The Vision Tell Me To Take A Step Of Faith, and that as I walked forward, not in my own strength, not in my own might or power, but in the spirit, that I would make it safely to the other side.
I remember feeling hesitant and thinking I needed to warn Steve.
I turned around and told him I’m going to take a leap of faith to get to the other side. He looked at me and seem to understand what I was doing and turned around and tried to tell the other individuals that they were going to have to lean upon God‘s power and might and supernatural ability, to get them all to the other side. I once again turned around and backed up and took a running leap across this wide chasm. I was immediately on the other side and waited for Steve.
 
I REALIZED THAT I HAD TO DO THIS ON MY OWN WITH THE LORD, and not depend upon Steve to get me to where the Lord wanted me to be. Nor could I get him there. We were each responsible to trust in the Lord with all of our heart.
It was as if I was lifted back over the chasm for a moment so I could observe what was taking place with Steve and the others.
Several of the individuals who were irritated that others were not listening to their great rhetoric and interpretation of things, began to break loose and run forward while telling everyone how they were going to make it across the gap/chasm. Several of them literally walked off the edge of the cliff into the chasm due to not paying attention, and fell completely to the bottom.
 
OTHERS WERE FIGHTING AND SEVERAL WERE IN FEAR AND WOULD NOT ATTEMPT A LEAP OF FAITH.
They wanted to build a structure or devise a plan to get them there. Their lights were flickering very low by this point.
Steve finally said, “I have to go”, and he too, took a running leap of faith and threw his arms upward, eyes closed, trusting in the Lord’s provision to get him over the chasm. He met me standing on the other side of this wide gap.
 
IMMEDIATELY WE BECAME MEMBERS OF A LARGE ARMY.
Everyone was dressed in a white robe and had different colors of sashes to indicate which battalion or team of army members they were marching with.
Everyone’s headband with the lamp on the front of it was brilliantly white and the lamps were shining intensely! Everyone was in order and marching in unison, with thousands of members.
 
OVERHEAD THERE WAS SOMETHING LIKE ARTILLERY FIRE TAKING PLACE IN THE SKY. 
It seemed as if there were missiles and different kinds of weaponry clashing above us, but we were all marching calmly and firmly in unity and we knew we were marching under the direction of our Leader, King, Jesus Christ.
 
Shortly after this surprising vision I “came to myself” again and sat there and pondered what I had seen, for a very long time.
Steve and I have often talked about this and have often shared the details with each other again as we l pray and ask the Lord why he would show it to us at that time, and what we were being prepared for.
 
CHRISTIAN ALLEGIANCES ARE  “STRANGE AND STRAINED AFFAIRS”
Many denominations and non-denominational groups as well as progressive and New Age influenced churches have chosen to embrace a corporate world structure and more eagerly, “hunker down” into a “murky version” of the word of God.
Many have embraced the cultural pressure to push away pure living, and interpret the word of God to fit the current day embracing of immoral sexuality and freethinking on many levels.
 
THE CURRENT BLATHERING INTELLECTUALS OF THE ERA mock and criticize those who choose to live a morally and biblically pure and truthful application of God’s word.
You know, It just not "cool or hip" right now to not be a little edgy and nasty!
 
I believe that in the vision that I had, those who were elbowing and arguing and posturing while on their way to what they felt was an event (that would be in fact an important moment in the collective body of Christ), these individuals had “dimmed” their approach to allowing their minds to be renewed and cleansed by the word of God. I believe the headbands that weakly flickered with the mining lights were symbols of what they fed their minds with, weakening their discernment.
 
THOSE WHO WERE FOCUSED ON HAVING THEIR MINDS RENEWED by the word of God, being illuminated by his word and having their minds renewed had no wavering or angst taking place.
Those that were fighting and pontificating the most, had the dimming lamps that flickered and seemed to short out, and they insisted that adaptations and adjustments could be made according to the way that they interpreted faith and how to walk with Christ.
THEY REFUSED TO LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE AND THEY REFUSED TO HAVE ANY KIND OF UNITY, BUT NEEDED TO PUSH FORWARD TO PROVE THEIR POINT.
 
When Steve kept telling them in the vision that they had to be unified and that they had to be humble and to humbly care for one another as brothers in the Lord, they became all the more enraged, condescending, and began to rush ahead in arrogance and with great irritability.
 
ONE INDIVIDUAL WAS WALKING BACKWARDS lecturing everyone and literally fell over the cliff edge into the chasm, screaming all the way down.
 
SO WHERE ARE WE?
Anyone who is doing all they know to do to have a close walk with the Lord right now at this time, who desires to hear what the Spirit of the Lord is saying to the churches and us individually, is fully aware of the deceptive clouds of wickedness and filth hovering over the world.
 
LYING HAS BECOME AN HONORED AND CUNNING ATTRIBUTE in order to confuse, control, and break other human beings.
Sadly, many in the faith have chosen to become rabid political activists to the point that it’s all that they devour and think about day and night.
They shun anyone who will not listen to them and certainly have embraced on many levels, the message of a “one world unified socialist lifestyle”. This is where a great delusion has been allowed to deceive many. Second Thessalonians 2:11 warned us about this!
“Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false.”
 
THERE IS GOING TO BE A LOT OF GODLESSNESS IN THE LAST DAYS
In 2 Timothy 3:1-5 we have quite the strong warning about how it was going to roll out and unfold. (I think that we are already there.)
“So! Understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 
For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, but treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but they deny its power. Avoid such people.”
 
WOW! AVOID THESE PEOPLE?
These are strong and difficult words to hear aren’t they?
 
When I was forerunning ahead in the vision, I believe it was a indicator of a prophetic forerunner seeing the things to come as well as seeing what God was asking of his people, as the world became more corrupt and dark, and decisions that were difficult that were coming, were about to be made.
 
THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS RUNNING I WAS WATCHING AND LOOKING TO MAKE SURE THAT MY FEET WOULD NOT TRIP, and when I came to the edge of the chasm I knew that I had to completely abandon myself, to everything that I could possibly fashion or create in my mind, leaving behind the hopeful use of any personal skills to get to the other side of where God wanted me to be.
 
THERE WAS NO POSSIBILITY TO RUN AND JUMP AND MAKE IT ON MY OWN.
I had to abandon myself to the fact that God said to take a leap of faith. That I must trust Him spirit, soul, and body, to be moved into position in His kingdom where I would be in unity marching with His great army of servants.
Somehow in my spirit, in the vision, I knew that Steve was going to be okay and also knew that we had to individually make a choice to trust God completely with our lives, no matter what difficulties we were about to face.
There was great sadness on Steve’s face when he turned around and knew he had to now leave those who were rushing ahead and jumping or still arguing on the edge of the chasm, and that it was his time to risk everything and take a step of faith out into the unknown.
The minute Steve arrived on the other side of the chasm with me we were side-by-side marching to the sound of thousands of feet in unison and voices praising God. There was a look of determination and sobriety on every face that was in every battalion of people, but everyone knew why they were there, and what they were being assigned to.
The flashes of light and military type of war going on above us was constant but no one broke rank and everyone was marching in the battalion that they were a part of. Praise and powerful prayers were coming out of all of all of the people’s mouths as they raised their hands forward in honor of what was up ahead, which I believe was King Jesus himself.
 
In Joel 2:11 it says
“The Lord utters his voice before his army,
For his camp is exceedingly great;
He who executes his word is powerful.
For the day of the Lord is great and very awesome;
Who can endure it?”
 
NOW, I WILL NOT PRESUME TO TRY TO UNPACK ALL THAT IS GOING ON IN THE EARTH TODAY, nor will I say that I understand all of the applications of the book of Revelation or End Time thoughts.
What I will say is that the Lord has told us that the difficult days would come and that antichrists and deceivers would rise up from among us, even trying to deceive the very elect, God’s own precious, set apart children.
 
1 John 4:3 tells this clearly!
Every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God.
This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already.
 
You see, This is a time where God is already showing those who have ears to hear what He is saying and that we are being called to take great steps and leaps of trust and faith in Him, like we have never, EVER done before.
 
IT’S SCARY OUT THERE IN THE WORLD, and tyrants and wicked men and women defy and mock anything that interferes with their corruption and filth. They are absolutely not interested in the sound of the voice of the Lord or in his people challenging them. But this is where our faith and trust in God must exceed and excel.
 
It is a time where you and I must continually and constantly renew our minds by intentionally reading and listening to the word of God.
 
HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO PEOPLE CHECK THE SOCIAL MEDIA UPDATES and news feeds on their phones and I Pads? Is this where the light of Christ is found and minds are renewed?
No. It’s a place where distractions and debates and the opinions of man drown out truth and any trust in God.
 
RUN AWAY FROM THE PACK
Believers! Get a firm pace going in your pursuit of the truth!
Be aware of those snares and rocks placed there to intentionally get you to change course or quit and become part of the world’s narratives!
 
There’s no need to figure out what you are going to do
in tough times if you stay close to the word and voice of God!
 
He absolutely WILL guide you, and His word IS the lamp for your feet and the light that will keep your path lit up as you journey through dark days!
 
Psalm 119:105 
"Your word is a lamp to my feet
, AND a light to my path.
 
IN CLOSING, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO ALLOW THE LORD, TO DO A DEEP PURGING AND SEARCHING OF YOUR HEART.
Don’t push away where he is trying to get you to give up your own, personal opinions about how things are to be done in a time where recklessness and chaos are rewarded.
Get quiet and be still in his presence, and ask him to tell you exactly what to do.
 
HE WILL DIRECT YOU THROUGH HIS WORD!
He will bring people across your path who are either like-minded or who will point the way to absolute sustaining truth.
Stay away from those who are so full of themselves, and who love the sound of their own voices, so that there is no room for tenderness and dialogue for a soul that is hungering after God.
 
YOU AND I ARE RIGHT NOW, A PART OF THE GREAT ARMY OF GOD.
We are to march to the sound of His voice and have our voices raised in praise of who He is and in declaration that we are of another Kingdom.
Even if it seems as if nothing is changing or that God is at a distance, we are not to walk by how we feel, or how things look around us.
We are to be determined to be in union and in communication by the spirit with the Spirit of the living God.
 
Ask the Lord to draw you close to him.
Choose to run after him!
 
Don’t wait for others to lead you or guide you to answer the questions that you have in your heart right now. Jesus by the Holy Spirit is able to speak clearly to you and he is able to give you direction, because, He IS the great I AM.
He IS wisdom.
He IS light!
And, He has promised…
…To never leave us in the dark.
 
Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world.
Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness,
But will have the light of life.” - John 8:12
 
Duplication and sharing of this message is welcomed provided that complete message, Podcast and website information for Mary Lindow is included.
 
Thank you. Copyright © 2021 THE MESSENGER " ˜ Mary Lindow
www.marylindow.com
www.marylindow.podbean.com
 
 
 
 
 
 

”HARDSHIP - HURT AND HOPE” - Jesus Understands Suffering and Fear

I KNOW SUFFERING IS EXHAUSTING AND PAIN HURTS! That is why it is called pain and suffering. If there were an escape a person of great wisdom and insight would have done it already!
By Mary Lindow
SUFFERING AND SORROW ARE A PART OF LIFE
Knowing this, however, doesn’t make it any easier to cope when you find yourself in the midst of the deepest, darkest trials of faith, and mentally anguish and strain.
Don’t you wish Christianity could make you exempt from suffering? That would be great, but as most of us have learned, following our faith doesn’t give us a free ride.
We catch as much trouble as unbelievers—often more.
The difference, of course, is that we can turn to Jesus when things go wrong. Unbelievers might argue that we’re only turning to our imagination, but we know better.
At some time in your life, however, suffering will hit you so hard that you won’t be able to do any of those things, and that dark time will probably visit you more than once.
“Even in darkness, light dawns for the upright,
for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.”
Psalm 112:4
 
WE ALL WANT THINGS WE DON’T GET.
Maybe it’s a person you’re sure would make a perfect spouse, and the relationship crumbles apart. Maybe it’s a better job or promotion, and you don’t make the cut. Or it might be a goal you poured your time and energy into, and it doesn’t come to pass or others sabotage it all.All of us have prayed for the recovery of loved ones who were ill, but they died anyway.
It takes real spiritual maturity to stay faithful when things go wrong, but severing our relationship with God punishes us, not him. It’s self-destructive behavior that can put us on the path to a miserable life. The parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) teaches us that God always wants us to come back to him.
Whether your problem is discouragement, illness or aging, sometimes all you have left is Jesus.
When you’re angry and bitter, you can still cling to Jesus in the midst of your tears. You can grab onto him and refuse to let go until he brings you through it. You’ll find, to your surprise that he holds on to you even tighter than you hold on to him.
 
JESUS UNDERSTANDS SORROW
He knows about being hurt. He remembers the terrible moment on the cross when his Father was forced to abandon him, because he was filthy from taking on our sins. Jesus won’t let you go.
And as you age and start down the path from this life to the next, Jesus will take your hand to guide you. He appreciates all that you have done for him through the years, but what he has always wanted most is your love.
So there you are in the middle of one of life’s train-wrecks-dazed, wounded, wondering what shoe-or bomb-will be dropping next, and up walks Job’s comforters.
We all remember Job from the Bible. A rich, powerful man, a great father and good in every way was Job.
Then, in a series of overlapping upheavals, he lost everything and everybody except his wife-who turned out to be a whole lot less than sympathetic in her changed status.
Battered Job ends up sitting alone on a pile of dirt, scratching his boil-covered body with some broken pottery.
 
WE CAN IDENTIFY WITH POOR JOB.
Life drags us through some tough times of loss that make us feel every bit like Job. Caught in a vortex of pain, and wondering if we’ll ever make it to safety.
And, boy, do we recognize Job’s so-called friends who showed up to by all accounts offer support and comfort. As they sat with Job in his misery, they took turns playing a self-centered, self-righteous, can-you-top-this game of knowing for certain that every bit of Job ‘s disaster had to be his own fault or a lack of trust in God. They weren’t sure how or why because Job seemed so decent, but deep down, they insisted, he just couldn’t be all he pretended to be.
 
THIS IS FAMILIAR TERRITORY
You get fired, and friends smirk knowingly when you try to explain the political nature of the event. Your child gets into difficulty-well; you know the kind of comfort you’ll get from friends about that. (It probably started sometime during potty training.)
Yet others try to “help” you with what I call “prayer lecturing.” While praying “for and with you” they let you (and God) know just how lucky you should be to even have running water, had a meal that day and more! Not really comforting in any way, and very very short on compassion.
Yet, from the story, it’s clear that Job was completely innocent.
Dreadful things do happen to completely innocent people, good people.Because of their opinion of Job’s guilt, history has bestowed his friends- (and their current replicas) – the label, “Job’s comforters.”So-called friends who add to a suffering person’s anguish by piling on false charges of blame and guilt and harsh reprimand for daring to show sadness or agony.
You may never have met anybody like Job, but you’ve met his comforters on more than one occasion. They seem to be everywhere.
 
WE CAN CHARGE SOME OF IT OFF TO JEALOUSY
Job had everything a person could dream of wanting-and then some-so jealousy was never more than a stone’s throw away. The green-eyed monster is a little more subtle with people living everyday, typical lives, but jealousy doesn’t need much ground to take root and grow with vigor.
 
WE DON’T WANT TO ADMIT BAD THINGS MAY HAPPEN TO US!
If bad things happen to people who don’t deserve them, they could happen to anybody, including me. If I don’t want bad things to happen to me, (who does?), I have to persuade myself and everybody around me that the victim’s actions caused the problem. If blame can be assigned, then I’ll be safe as long as I’m good.
In other words, if I can claim that the cause of your problem is something you do that I don’t do, then what happened to you can’t happen to me. There is, of course, no logic to this, but it brings some shaky comfort to frightened hearts.We see this thinking at work when people stare numbly at adversity and ask, “What did I do to deserve this?” Sometimes the answer is, “nothing.”
 
HAVE YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF "WHY ME?"
And it doesn’t have to be bad; you could be excited from something wonderful. Most often then not, I ask myself this after something I am looking forward to goes wrong.
Even at times when something goes wrong I lay awake at night and my thoughts wonder to what previously occurred. I am sure everyone does it at times, wishing for another try or chance.
You may lay awake thinking about your suffering, part of life’s suffering is misery’s shadow persisting/hanging on; not only do you suffer but you have to think about suffering.
I can’t prove this with statistics or find it any book I know of, yet I would say that more people either come to the faith or fall away because of this reason above all; the disturbance of suffering.
YOU SEE GOD USES TIMES OF SUFFERING…
...TO TEACH AND GROW US.
If you allow yourself to recount your sufferings, did you not learn more about faith while suffering then any other time? It has been said that; “Blessings are God’s whispers, he speaks in our conscience, but shouts to us in our suffering.”
“O my Comforter in sorrow,
My heart is faint within me.”
Jeremiah 8:18
Suffering becomes the only way to realize our hollow spiritual self. Pain is unmasked, and every person knows when something is not right when they are hurting. Pain insists upon being attended to.
So when you travel down this line of thought you come to the idea, why do I or someone else suffer when others don’t?
 
I KNOW SUFFERING IS EXHAUSTING AND PAIN HURTS
That is why it is called pain and suffering. If there were an escape a person of great wisdom and insight would have done it already. Yet Discipleship demands such trials to compel us towards renewal.
Read Hebrews 2:10
“God, for whom and through whom everything was made,
chose to bring many children into glory.
And it was only right that he should make Jesus, through his suffering,
a perfect leader, fit to bring them into their salvation.”
The real question is what to do when life has just punched us a good one, and Job’s comforters show up at our door.
Nobody says we have to let them in.
And certainly nobody says we have to entertain them.
And, most positively, nobody says we have to believe them.
“For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives,
So also through Christ our comfort overflows.”2 Corinthians 1:5
We can sort out the who’s-to-blame-for-what after we get some solid ground under our feet and a little energy back into our lives.
But we still won’t want Job’s comforters anywhere around us…
...We will want people who care.
"Compassion"
To me not to be kind is evil of the mind.
No need to pray or preach,
Let us our children teach with every fond caress,
Pity and gentleness:
So in the end may we God’s Kingdom cause to be.
Author - R.W. Service
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"THE POWERLESS AGAINST THE MIGHTY"- Prophetic Directives For the Body Of Christ and Prophetic Words for the United Kingdom - Ireland - France - Germany and Canada

God tells you and I at this time to put HIM
between yourself and the enemies!
 
 
By Mary Lindow  - Through The Holy Spirit
 
The Father in heaven has an exclusive responsibility towards His people and He cries out to them through the Holy Spirit,  that just as he moved on behalf of Asa and his men when surrounded by a vast army and 300 chariots, so will He move again on behalf of those who are obedient to His voice and commands.
 
He tells you and I at this time
to put HIM between yourself and the enemy.
 
When Asa realized his lack of strength, THEN he saw Jehovah God crush the Cushites.
They were “Crushed before the Lord and their foes.”
-2 Chronicles 14:13
 
Then Asa called to the LORD his God and said,
"LORD, there is no one besides You to help in the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength; so help us, O LORD our God, for we trust in You, and in Your name have come against this multitude.
O LORD, You are our God; let not man prevail against You! "
-2 Chronicles 14:11 
  
THE “BUGLE” TO BE “FRUGAL” 
There will be several “invented” crisis settings in the next months that will cause many to choose to hoard and stockpile for themselves. They will be quickly exposed as moneymaking schemes and a tool to inflate prices.
On the other side of this there will be those who have very little with which to live and eat due to job losses and cutbacks.
Those around them, if not filled with the fruits of Grace and Mercy, will become indifferent to the cry of their needs, for there will be many. 
 
“Share your food with the hungry and give shelter to the homeless.
Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help.” -Isaiah 58:7 
 
The Lord would have me share that He is indeed watching to see if the heart of the Apostolic move of God can again be modeled as when the people brought what they had to trusted and integral teams of leaders, (Like In the Book Of Acts, it was Peter) who then distributed with prayer and wisdom to all, and none had any lack.
We are at a time where the Body of Christ must share resources willingly, and fairly and we are not to justify personal restraints that we think should apply to others, but not to ourselves. The hoarding of resources is a clear indicator of greed.
 
HERE IS A SCRIPTURAL MEASURING STICK OR PLUMBLINE
TO USE TO OBSERVE THE TRUE APOSTOLIC HEART AND LEADER. 
 
They share freely and give generously to those in need.
Their good deeds will be remembered forever.
They will have influence and honor. 
Psalm 112:9
 
Before I move into Delivering  the Prophetic Words and Insights that the Lord has impressed me with for the  United Kingdom - Ireland – France Germany and  Canada
I would like to share the brief but potent following thoughts and soul stirring words came from Reverend Linda Brown in Perth, Australia while she was   partaking in a Kingdom Community Zoom Session. They resonate with truth and prophetic depth.
 
“Revelation or Decimation?”
Will we operate from The Spirit of Revelation in the coming days to ensure the Kingdom of God is able to operate fully as God intends in the years that lie ahead?
Or will we see the church grow weaker because of our lack of foresight and action?
This is a challenge for us all as Apostolic/Prophetic people.
 
Meaning of decimation :
 -a drastic reduction in the strength or effectiveness of something."
I honor those insights and believe they are words for the Holy Spirit to leaders at this time.
 
PROPHETIC WORDS FOR
THE UNITED KINGDOM - IRELAND – FRANCE – GERMANY – CANADA
 
“Then I was told, You are to make a fresh prophecy
concerning many peoples and races and nations,
And languages and kings.”
-Revelation 10:11
 
The United Kingdom: 
There will be a ROAR of Prayer heard from desperate hearts in the UK.
Prayer will be a way of life in many small Hamlets and Villages, and many homes will become chapels of healing and miracles. The prostitution red light districts in Central London will have an epic move of God as He sends in intercessors in tandem with relevant and fiery Revivalists who will have such a strong presence of God, with the Power of Holy Spirit bringing conviction, that even the hardest atheist observing it all will be made to run away in terror at the potent power of God falling upon the filth of prostitution.
 
“And I will restore or replace for you the years that the locust has eaten--the hopping locust, the stripping locust, and the crawling locust, my great army, which I sent among you.- Joel 2:25 
 
Houses of hope and care will spring up in smaller surrounding areas, where these whom have once been bound will be cared for and restored. 
 
BRETHREN, IF any person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness, keeping an attentive eye on yourself, lest you should be tempted also. - Galatians 6:1
 
 Ireland: 
There are many hidden and faithful leaders who have weathered political and spiritual storms for decades who are now well prepared and ready for the Father’s divine plan for their lives.
Ireland will begin to export teams of Apostolic and Prophetic missionaries into the USA and Europe. These people will have a razor-sharp ability to cast out religious spirits hindering moves of God. They will bring with them the fresh songs of praise and worship now ready for the hungry ears of the true worshiper.
 The “cynical” Irishman will now become the grand believer declaring – “With God all things are possible”! There will be a spotlight on Ireland with new technologies being developed and mined there. With it, doors will open for many to travel to Ireland and find Fathering and Mothering Mentors ready to restore, train, and release. 
 
France and Germany: 
The Father calls France, “A nation now in chaos”. 
But, as an underground stream flows swiftly and quietly, so do those who have determined to pray and intercede with heart wrenching pleas for the Father to move within their land.
A spiritual passivity will begin to be addressed and shaken off of the hearts of fearful and hidden believers in France and Germany.
There will begin to be a few strong and ethical governmental leaders rise up who will begin to risk addressing the rapidly encroaching militant attacks against the people of France and its outlying regions. There will be community of vigils of prayer in local churches and the repenting of passiveness and elitist thinking. 
 
German and French Believers will begin to view one another in a Kingdom perspective and join in prayer and service to one another, creating a groundswell of food pantries with farmers and dairies that will create
CO-OPs. 
 
The key to breaking the spiritual stagnation in France says the Lord, will be the humbling of hearts before the Throne of God and reaching out beyond its own borders. 
 
“For He is [Himself] our peace (our bond of unity and harmony).
He has made us both] one body), and has broken down (destroyed, abolished) the hostile dividing wall between us. - Ephesians 2: 14
 
Germany:
Germany will have a large revolt and uprising from among the youth as the economy continues to stress and bend. Looting and stealing and selling of automobiles will become a raging epidemic. 
For when the world with all its earthly wisdom failed to perceive and recognize and know God by means of its own philosophy, God in His wisdom was pleased through the foolishness of preaching [salvation, brought on by Christ and to be had through Him], to save those who believed (who clung to and trusted in and relied on Him). -1 Corinthians 1:21 
Simultaneously, Young street evangelists who have been well trained as well as educated will be commissioned to reach out to those rioting and manifesting.
Government leaders will not know what to do with the uproar, and sanctions against open religious expressions will be put in place.
Nevertheless, young Paul’s and Silas’s will not fear what man can do to them and will continue to flow in the power of Evangelism, seeing the hand of God spare the lives of many. 
 
“Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and preach and cry out to it the preaching that I tell you.” -Jonah 3:2
 
The Lord is going to give Words of Wisdom and Words of Knowledge and messages to the young men and women of God who are going to rise up and speak in Germany!
They will be full of the Power of the Holy Spirit, and they will cause the wave of the move of God to move across many villages and there will be an uprising of broken hearts, crying out for help, and there will be literal street revivals and manifestations of the Holy Spirit. It will NOT be stopped!  
 
CANADA: 
Canada will experience one of its most prosperous seasons ever known, for a short season.
The Lord would have Canada know that they must deal fairly with the wealth that they will produce and pay back the First Native families, and with Godly equity. If this is not addressed with wisdom and integrity, Canada will have to pass through the sorrows of disobedience.
Canadian Intercessors are being awakened and called up to stand in the place of prayer for its leaders and tribes.
Now is the time for soberness, It is not the time for silliness and laughter. 
It is a sober day, with a command for sober prayers. 
"Accordingly then, let us not sleep, as the rest do, but let us keep wide awake (alert, watchful, cautious, and on our guard) and let us be sober (calm, collected, and circumspect)". - 1 Thessalonians 5:6 
“So Get up! Stand UP! Be Purposeful,” says the Lord!
How do you not know that through your borders I can bring a North American Wave of Justice and Restoration?” 
“So brace up your minds; be sober (morally alert), set your hope wholly and unchangeably on the grace (with is the Divine favor) that is coming to you when Jesus Christ (the Messiah) is revealed. -1 Peter 1:13
  
IN CLOSING, I BLESS YOU AS YOU HAVE LISTENED OR HAVE READ THESE PROPHETIC INSIGHTS IN THE NAME OF JESUS.
 
May His word be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path!
 
“Then I fell down at his feet to worship him, but he said,
“No, don’t worship me. I am a servant of God, just like you,
and your brothers and sisters who testify about their faith in Jesus,
 Worship only God." -2 Peter 1:21
 
 “For the essence of prophecy is to give a clear witness for Jesus ”
 -Revelation 19:10
 
I want you to know that we are not to be elevating, or exalting men or women of God because of the revelation or the edification that they are giving to the Body of Christ right now.
YES! We do listen to voices that the Lord puts among us, but we do not worship them, nor do we make them our direct contact for hearing things from the Lord on our own.
 
I ENCOURAGE YOU GET INTO A QUIET PLACE, ALONE WITH THE LORD  AND JUST BE STILL!
HE WILL COMMUNICATE DIVINE THINGS TO YOU, THROUGH HIS SPIRIT.
  
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Copyright © 2021 " THE MESSENGER " ~ Mary Lindow

 www.marylindow.com
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FINDING THE PLACE OF SAFETY AND ACCEPTANCE

By Mary Lindow



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IT’S A STRANGE AND TWISTED WORLD THAT WE LIVE IN
Many well meaning people try hard to give pep talks, cheery texts and even send emails with profound  topics or inspirational contents all in the hope of giving a bit of relief from the ever increasing “noises” of an uncertain world.
“ I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
John 16:33

WHAT DO YOU FEAR?
This is not always an easy question to answer right away. Emotions and physical reactions to the question begin to swirl and elevate stress levels when anxiety creeps in.
And, fear is a terror that can paralyze anyone if enough of it is allowed to enter our minds. And that is exactly where it first penetrates our peace. In the Mind.
Fear
noun
Fright, fearfulness, horror, alarm, panic, agitation, trepidation, dread, consternation, dismay, distress; anxiety, worry, angst, unease, uneasiness, apprehension, nervousness, foreboding;
WHEN WE FEAR WE MAKE POOR CHOICES
If you are afraid or “fear” being misled by someone, you will limit your intimacy or openness with him or her. Many believers in need of healing emotionally from harsh or indifferent parenting tend to keep deep relationships or friendship at arm’s length in order to maintain a sense of control or privacy for themselves.
This can become a form of “selective hearing or selective listening” if the individual feels that they need to remain aloof and frosty in order to gain the respect or validation that they feel that they need to exist.
The problem with this cycle is that is creates a private  “terror” of not having a solid place of safety with a few dear and treasured people, flawed people… but those willing to also be vulnerable and open.
Psalm 27:1
“The LORD is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?”
Every situation, location, and relationship of our everyday lives is in some way broken. As fallen creatures, the best we can ever do in this life is to know how to live in this broken-down house/earth suit that’s our current address. And, nothing and no one but God himself, in the fullness of his time, can change where we live. So as we experience the reality of life in this house, sometimes it will leave us confused and overwhelmed.
Sometimes it will leave us hurt and angry. Sometimes people will give way to envy because the house or “life” of someone living nearby seems far less broken. Sometimes we just get weary of the stress of it all and long for a house in perfect repair.
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE
In those moments, those days, those seasons, remember that you are never on your own. The Master Builder has given us a copy of his renovation manual, the Bible. It will help us to understand why things are as broken as they are. It teaches us how to live well even in the midst of the brokenness. And it will explain the only way in which repair can ever happen.
Just never forget that the Designer himself has moved into the house with you. You’ve not been left alone. You can rest assured of his presence and his wisdom. His grace has blessed you with both of these.
However, He must be fully welcomed and invited into all of the “locked and hidden access areas” that others are not often trusted to enter into.
He who offers you such grace and guidance will never ask you to do what you are not fully capable of doing by God’s grace and ever present Spirit. He will not demand things of you that are beyond your abilities. Our Lord is tender and kind. He knows who you are and he knows where you’re living. He knows how hard it is to live in your broken-down house because in the flesh he lived here himself.
The Lord invites you to walk away from trying to figure it out on your own and he welcomes you to sit at his feet and learn the simplicities of living; things so full of meaning that you will see your world in a completely new way; things so practical that you will never live the same way again.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”
Philippians 2:3

TAKE A LOOK IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR FOR ONE MOMENT
Have you recently made decisions about who you will share with on any level such as giving, talking of dreams, sorrows, losses, major life events, and then afterward - pulled back only to run to either another source for additional validation or to agree with your choices or decisions? Or, have you reacted to some of the counsel or responses you have received by testing those whom you have shared with by removing your favor, kindness or former warmth from them?
These actions are often made rapidly when we are fearful or fear being wounded, and shift us into a place of survival and self-protection.
They can also isolate us from a loving, safe and healthy “corrective course” or direction away from fear and its tentacles.

FINDING THE PLACE OF SAFETY AND ACCEPTANCE
When we step into the hand of God we find the place of acceptance, and safety and an opportunity for service. It is the place of real authority, as well as of hiddenness.
God only works with those who are in His hand and those who do not keep jumping out of it, attempting to either control their own fears, but instead, often try to control others around them due to being fearful of the choices others make possibly affecting them.
Both greatly hinder the ability to trust other godly people and above all, to trust the safety of letting God do His job, while we rest in His hand.
The more we lie sheltered there, the more surely will He use us down the road. And it will be alongside others who freely share all that they have, without fear. Just as you will learn as you let go, and allow the Father to build a “Safe House” out of your life in His presence.
May the Lord do for us according to His word.
He said, "I have put My words in thy mouth, and I have covered thee in the shadow of My hand."
Charles Spurgeon spoke such a beautiful statement and I want to share it with you here.
“The shadow of God is not the occasional resort,
but the constant abiding- place, of the saint.

Under His shadow we are to feel that we are at home,
and then He will make Himself at home to us by becoming food unto our souls,
and giving spiritual refreshment to us while we rest.”

NO MORE HOOPS TO JUMP
When this is learned and treasured, you will then not withhold from or test others with rules or regulations set up to certainly fail them. We ruin great friendships or opportunities when we expect from others total vulnerability and openness and then only give part of what we have and who we are back in return.
Colossians 3:12
“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Perhaps you are waiting on Christ, desiring His company, and while you are thinking these thoughts you are asking, "Will He ever direct His full gaze upon me? Will He ever speak loving words to me? Will He ever let me sit at His feet? Will He ever permit me to lean my head upon His shoulder?"

COME AND STEP BACK INTO THE SHELTER OF HIS HAND.
Though you might shake like a leaf in a strong wind. Come! Sometimes those who come trembling are those who are aware that they are the lowest and the Creator the highest. When finally admit that our own self-esteem is less than nothing and is total vanity, then Jesus is the more good and lovely in our eyes.
Let your humility of heart, and your sense of hollowness, as a replacement for disqualifying you, be a sweet instrument for leading you to receive more of Christ.
“Before his downfall a man's heart is proud,
But humility comes before honor.”
Proverbs 18:12
The emptier I am, the more room is there for the Lord
The more I lack, the more He will give me.
The more I feel my weakness, the more shall I adore and bless Him when He makes me whole.
You’re never in a better place than when you give up on you and begin to trust in what is certain.
The life-shaping wisdom of the One who created you - in the first place.
“After all, every house has a builder,
But the builder of everything is God.”
Hebrews 3:4


Duplication and re-transmission of this writing is welcomed provided that complete source and website information for Mary Lindow is included.
Thank You!
Copyright  2013  " THE MESSENGER " ~ Mary Lindow
www.marylindow.com

Silent No More

Dear Friends,
I have a most precious "real life" story to share with you. It is the story and of one very brave and amazing woman. Her name is Karen Elliott and she lives in San Antonio, Texas.
What Karen is about to share on this podcast and written pages will cause you to weep as as well as rejoice at the forgiveness of the Lord and His power to wash away deep traumatizing shame and sorrow.
Share this story with young women, friends, and others with a painful past or current trauma. It is not recommended that you share this with young children due to the sensitive information regarding abortion in it as well as a few detailed graphics.
This testimony has now been aired all over Europe and Israel as well as the USA and other Nations and countries. The Lord is using this tremendous story to tell of His Mercy and Grace.
If you are touched by Karen's brave sharing, please send her an email and bless her as your sister in Christ. If you need someone to talk to about a similar series of events, Karen is on of the most discreet and kind women you could ever share your broken heart with.
In His Shadow,
Mary Lindow

“Silent No More”
Testimony of Karen Elliott
karen.steve@sbcglobal.net
Thank you so much, Ladies and Gentlemen, for the opportunity to speak to you today.   I’d like to share my heart, my life with you.  All I ask is that you please listen with your heart!
You know, I used to ask myself what I wanted to be when I grew up.  There are so many things that interest me that I just wanted to embrace them all.  Art, fashion, interior design, real estate.  I was an art major in college, I had five years of private painting lessons, and painting is a chapter in my life which isn’t over just yet.  I have been under contract with a modeling agency in Texas, because I believe that mature women need to be equally represented in advertising, a trend that is just now coming to the forefront. 
I design interiors for people because I believe God wants us to flourish in our surroundings.  Another one of the things I do is to consult with women about their wardrobes…what sort of styles they should wear for their body type, what colors look good on them, even how to organize their closets so that getting dressed can be easy.
But on a more serious note, I’d like to share some of the secrets that have been hidden away in my closet.  Because you see, all of those things that I loved and embraced were on the surface.  Underneath, there was a secret that I had buried -- a secret that I told no one.
I was born to loving parents who were and still are very much in love with each other ( Karen's Mother has recently passed away).  I was raised in a Christian home and went to church.  I accepted Jesus and was born again in my mother’s bedroom when I was only nine years old.  I was already selfish and self-centered and wanted my own way.  I already needed His saving grace. 
I got married at 19 after two years of college, long before I knew who I was and what I needed in life, much less what I had to offer someone else.  That was what we had in common, and we were soon disappointed in each other.  I went to work immediately while my husband went to college and then law school. 
So much of our life was focused on when we got out of school that we forgot to invest in and enjoy the present.  The goal was more important than the means by which we would attain it. 
Church was no part of our life and neither of us thought too much about it.  I occasionally remembered that I felt God had called me to the ministry as a pastor’s wife, but it seemed that no longer had any relevance in my life.  All that mattered is that we had two darling little girls.  After seven years together and much of the enemy’s intervention, we divorced and I went to Atlanta to live with my parents.
At 25, divorced with children, and with no college degree, I felt ill-prepared for the workforce and I had to tell everybody within the first five minutes of meeting them that my ex-husband was an attorney.  My whole life had lost its focus. 
I had to support myself without my ex-husband’s education and credentials.  It seemed that I had no identity of my own.  You know, when a couple is divorced, the woman is suddenly no longer “the wife.”  The man still has his name, he still has his career, he still has his education.  If the woman did not have a career before marriage, she has to establish herself on her own.  If she marries again, she has yet another name and a new identity to assume. It can be very confusing.  A woman may ask, “Who am I, anyway?”  She searches to establish who she is.  Who she  was  is not who she is  anymore!
Though I had been a Christian most of my life, my identity was wrapped up in being the wife of my ex-husband.  So when my marriage ended, I experienced an identity crisis.  God wanted my identity to be wrapped up in Him, not in another person.
After my divorce, I started dating, and for the next couple of years I had very stringent rules for myself.  But the unthinkable happened!  I found myself pregnant!  It was not the Immaculate Conception!  I was old enough to know better!  How could I have been so stupid?  The choices I had made had trapped me!
The devil began warring on my senses.  Now I felt I had no choice!  If I were to have this baby, my ex-husband could say that I was an unfit mother and might try to take my children away from me!  I felt I had to act fast.  I decided I had to terminate the pregnancy.  I made a call to a man I knew who made the arrangements for an abortion.  The details are as vivid as though they all happened last week.
I could not have been more than four or five weeks pregnant.  After the procedure, I passed a tiny piece of pink flesh which was the beginning of a little baby.  It was not a blood clot like we sometimes have during periods of heavy flow; it was unmistakable.  I will never forget what I saw.
That image has haunted me, when I least expect it, and has never been forgotten even though I have kept my secret entirely hidden for many years. In a book by Francine Rivers called The Atonement Child,  many passages pierced my heart.  The words expressed so many thoughts and emotions that I have felt.  I would like to share one of these passages with you.

Quote:
“She had sought a way out, any way out, and then had lied to get the money for an abortion, sacrificing her unborn child.  And since then, she had lied to herself and others.  Sowing seeds of destruction.  Why had she done it?  To hide her shame?  To pretend the past couldn’t harm her?  To avoid condemnation?  And what had she accomplished?  She was ashamed, hurting, and condemned anyway.  She could have made a hundred excuses for herself – and did – but none
mattered.  None helped heal the secret pain within her because her own blood cried out against her.  You can’t run away from God!”
I had thought that an abortion wouldn’t matter, that no one would ever know, and I would just continue life as usual.  Isn’t the woman the one to make the choice about what happens to her own body?  Why hadn’t I made another choice a long time ago, saving myself from this dilemma?  I thought that the decision to abort was the end of it.  God did forgive me when I wept and repented before Him.  How could I have known that it would come back into my conscience more than 30 years later with such glaring detail?
I married the man whose baby was aborted.  We were only married a month when he filed bankruptcy.  Life seemed to be a financial roller coaster and we were doomed with financial woes.  No matter how much money we made, we never had enough to pay everyone who wanted to be paid.  We were not tithing and we were not going to church.  I was taking birth control pills and got pregnant! 
The next year our precious son was born and now we had what you could call a “blended” family.  I tell you about the financial problems so you can see that I began to live under a curse of insufficiency.   Bill collectors were always calling.  There was never enough money.
Our marriage just unraveled with all sorts of sin.  By this time I had become an astrological expert, and I could, with just a few details of your birth date, time and location, tell you more than you knew about yourself.  I attributed it all to God who was All-powerful, All-knowing, and All-creative.  He was absolutely able to put all of your characteristics and personality into your tiny body depending upon when and where you were born.  I was VERY convincing and had a lot of “believer-followers.”  My door was always open and the coffee pot was always on. 
Then one day, in desperation, I knelt down beside my bed and I asked Jesus to help me with my life and my children.  I had not been doing a very good job with any part of it.  He was right there as soon as I called His Name.  Soon after that we   enrolled the girls in a Christian school. 
I began to feel that we needed some continuity between school and home.  We started going to church and one morning I just could not quit crying.  The pastor invited me to come to his study the following week to talk and right there I was baptized in the Holy Spirit.  When I left the church, my car just transported me to a church member’s house, where I  never had been before.  They welcomed me and invited me to stay for lunch with them and the youth pastor who was also visiting at the time.  As we discussed the Holy Spirit, they asked me to renounce all the forms of the occult. 
I had been involved in everything - astrology, fortune-telling, tarot cards, ouiji boards, tea leaves – you name it!  It was then that I received my prayer language and I began to pray in tongues. 
A friend of mine called the next day to tell me that she had given birth to her first child in a neighboring state.  I could not tell the baby’s astrological sign and I still cannot to this day.  I was totally delivered from all of the occult!  I burned and destroyed all of the books and items related to astrology, worth more than $1,000! God miraculously set me free from that whole part of my life!  I thought I was no longer under the curse, but problems continued to plague our marriage and I ended up divorced again. 
Within a couple of years, I married again.  This time I decided that I was only going to marry a Christian.  I might as well have said I was going to marry the next red-haired man who crossed the street!  I started going to church and praying with this man, but my spirit was warning me.  I charged ahead into a relationship that was like oil and water.     
We were never able to live in harmony even though we stayed married for 13 years.  My children were unhappy, our finances were pitiful, I was deathly ill, and we were living in a constant state of war. 
Because I was not able to keep current on the payments, I was given a notice of foreclosure on the house.  I went through the house proclaiming all the scriptures in Gloria Copeland’s wonderful book entitled, GOD’S WILL FOR YOU IS PROSPERITY.  I spoke to the windows, the doors, the walls, the floors!  No devil was going to take them from me!
I entered a state of faith in God’s Word and one night before the house was to be sold on the courthouse steps, I received a call from a man who offered to pay the court in return for a second mortgage on the house!  It was a stay of execution!  The Lord had delivered me and my house! 
During this marriage, the government demanded our boat and trailer to pay taxes we owed, the bank repossessed our car, we could not pay our mortgage payments, and I finally had to file bankruptcy to keep my home.  Another stay of execution!  I ended up paying off the court, the fees, and all my debtors because my original in-laws loaned me the money and told me THEY did not want my house! 
I shall always be grateful for their kindness to me in a time of need.  Over the next few years, I fully repaid them by the grace of God, who always made a way for me.  During this whole period of my life, I would be under so much pressure, unable to sleep because of so much tension.  I plunged from one crisis to another, and the relief that came was always temporary….another crisis always hit.
I remember getting up during the night in turmoil and to begin thanking God for my blessings.  As I did this, I would eventually come to the place of true praise with my hands lifted to Him, dancing around in my kitchen!
I would sing, “Count your blessings, name them one by one, count your many blessings, see what God hath done!”  The Lord did enable me to overcome my circumstances.
However, there were some other circumstances that came into my life which were not financial.  It was my health. I found out that I had fibroid tumors which required a complete hysterectomy, and while in the hospital, the doctors discovered a lump in my breast.  This, of course, is part of the lingering curse from having had an abortion, though I did not make the connection then.
After this time, I came into a new season in my professional life.  I had become a successful businesswoman in real estate in Atlanta, Georgia.  One of my coworkers was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  Exactly one year later she died and was buried. 
My emotions were raw over the loss of my friend.  I left the next day to help my youngest daughter move to  Philadelphia.  While there, I discovered a new lump in my breast.  Alarming as that new health concern was, there were still more scary circumstances of a different nature just around the corner. 
As I flew back to Atlanta a few days later, two Canadian geese were sucked into the engine at takeoff.  We had to make an emergency landing back in Philadelphia with foam on the runway. 
Completely shaken, I vowed that if I only had one year to live, like my friend, I would not live my life like I had been!! I set about to change it.  I filed for divorce and put my house up for sale.  Within a few months, my housing and marital status had changed.
Then, one day, my high school sweetheart – Steve- and I began a long-distance friendship by telephone. I called it a “phoneship!”  I was in Atlanta; he was a thousand miles away in San Antonio, Texas.  The Lord said to me one day as I was dressing, “I have chosen Steve to restore the years the locusts have eaten in your life and for you to do the same for him.”
A year after I had decided to change my life,  Steve came to see me.  We only saw each other on four different occasions.  Then we got married in Georgia and I moved back to Texas.   Over the last fourteen years Steve and I have been closely involved with various people, churches and ministries that have continuously taught us in the ways of the Lord  and helped us understand that together we have a call to the nations!  We can say now that we have a global vision.  One day the Lord impressed me to have the word “restoration” inscribed in our wedding rings, which Steve did the very next day.  Truly, we are experiencing restoration in its fullness.  Jesus will transform your life when you let Him!
Once I was scheduled to go on an antiques- buying trip to Paris on the first of March with my employer, an interior design firm.  As I was praying about it, I distinctly felt God by His Spirit say, “No.”  That was on a Saturday.  Two days later
at a Christian conference taught by Alan Vincent, I introduced myself to the woman sitting beside me.  It was Mary Lindow from Colorado.  She felt impressed to invite me to join her and the U.S. ministry team at the first-ever Women’s Conference in Strasborg, France, to be held in three weeks. I told her I would pray about it and let her know.  My husband was very supportive and encouraged me to go.  All week I enjoyed the teaching of the Word, but I secretly was in turmoil over this decision.  Satan was constantly telling me I wasn’t good enough.
Finally, on the last day of the conference, as I was sitting at the back of the room it seemed God said to me, “Karen, you are 60 years old.  When are you going to start?”  You see, I had told the Lord for years that I wanted to be on the cutting edge of whatever He wanted to do on the earth!   Immediately,   I realized that God DID have something for me to do.  It didn’t matter if I felt unsure and inadequate.  I had listened to too many years of Satan’s accusations against me, seeking to diminish me and tell me I could not be useful to God.  He had kept me squelched under his thumb long enough! 
It is true that you put Fire on God’s altar when you answer, “Yes!”  I did say, “Yes, Lord, yes!”  It felt glorious!  I ran to tell Mary that I would go!  Two weeks later I was in Germany and France in life-changing ministry as part of the team!  
After I returned home, I was on my way to a prayer meeting about abortion.  There were representatives there from an organization that is seeking to end abortion through America’s court system.  The organization is called the Justice Foundation. As I was driving, I said out loud, “Well, God, I hope You don’t expect me to have anything to do with that!”
At that moment, the Holy Spirit filled my being and I began to realize that what God wanted was no less than what I wanted for myself.  “Restoration!”    
Near the end of April I wrote out my personal statement, also known as an affidavit, admitting the secret of my abortion. God led me to share the affidavit with Mary while she was visiting me later that same year in June.  I also shared it with a friend of mine, Eileen Vincent, who later became very involved in Prayer for the Justice Foundation.   
They were both so kind and understanding, and prayed with me to have the courage to do everything that God was calling me to do. 
Well, my affidavit lay there – hidden in the file folder all summer.  What was I waiting for?
I had been asked for the very first time to give my testimony and it was for a Christian women’s meeting called AGLOW in San Antonio, Texas the following September. I knew that God wanted me to finally reveal my secret – that which had remained hidden for so, so long in the closet of my heart. 
I knew I must first share my testimony with my husband and children.  Their reaction was wonderful.  Instead of shame and condemnation, they were so accepting of me!  I was so proud of them!
I went to the Justice Foundation to have my paper notarized and turn it in.  As I left their office, I felt that something really remarkable had happened.  My act of obedience to reveal the secret in my closet would allow God to
use me in new ways.  Two thousand affidavits were turned in from all over the country and were finally sent to the Supreme Court of the US to help overturn legalized abortion in America!  I was so pleased that my affidavit was among them.
I have come into full agreement with God’s TRUTH, and that truth is that “it is not in the human or legal interest of any mother to kill her own child.  A mother’s true interest is in her child’s LIFE and her relationship with her child.  Abortion should come to an end.”
I don’t know what the statistics are, but women who have had abortions are much more likely to develop breast cancer and they are also very often unable to have more children. The Lord allowed me to have a son in spite of my sin.  The blood of
Jesus is enough, for He has forgiven me. I asked for and received that forgiveness more than 35 years ago.  But God wasn’t really through. 
He has been leading me to give my testimony so that all of us who have been through this awful act will have the courage to come forward and admit what we have done. 

By coming out into the open, we can end hell’s grip on our lives.  We can be free of the trauma, the guilt, and the shame. 
Researchers describe something called, “Post Abortion Syndrome” as a woman’s inability to process the fear, anger, sadness and guilt surrounding her abortion.  She may have trouble with these emotions as well as grieving the loss of her baby, and coming to peace with God, herself, and the others involved in the abortion decision.  A woman can experience many lasting effects from an abortion, including, guilt, crying, flashbacks, sadness, anger, anxiety, sleeping problems, relationship problems, alcohol abuse, depression, eating disorders, drug abuse, and suicidal thoughts.
Those secrets that remain hidden continue to have power over you, and what I’m wanting to do is to help women see that
if they can come to terms with abortion, that Satan’s hold and power over them would end.  Like a bomb, I had to detonate abortion’s power so it wouldn’t be something that Satan could use to keep me bound.
In answer to my question, “What was I waiting for?”  God has a plan for my life that is constantly unfolding.  That date with AGLOW in September was another turning point in my life.  It was the same month in 1969 that I had had an
abortion, ending a little life so recently begun.   I began my journey of sharing my testimony and doing my part to help end abortion more than thirty years later.
Is there anything hidden in your closet?  Has Satan been talking to you, like he talked to me, keeping you silent and squelched, unable to answer the Lord’s call, like he did to me?  Has he rendered you ineffective in your life?
Today we can break agreement with the enemy.  We can choose to believe what God says about us.  We can say, “Yes, Lord.”  Why don’t you make a decision to give 100 percent to Jesus?  He’ll take you to new places, doing new things, and He will restore the years the locusts have eaten in your life! 
Whatever we have done in the past or whatever has been done to us or someone we love will lose its power when we put our fire on God’s altar by saying, “Yes, Lord, Yes!”  Whatever the Lord God asks YOU to do, do it!
If there has been an abortion in your past, I encourage you today to silence the enemy once and for all!!! 
Won’t you decide today to be silent and shameful no more?


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