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Weapons_words.jpg

By Mary Lindow

This message just "might" hit close to home.  : )

I have been thinking a lot this week about arrogance and those “finger pointing” individuals who enjoy belittling others and simply “love” to be plain old “snarky”.  Just look at the headlines of newspapers, Internet news and gossip columns! With the stroke of a key or two, words written imply things that can break hearts, ruin trust, hope, National Security and relationships.

THERE IS SUCH A HARSH “STING TO THE HEART”

WHEN THE CRUEL WORDS OF SOMEONE ELSE INTENTIONALLY

DOES A “VERBAL SLAP DOWN” OR SHAMES YOU.

Usually it occurs when THEY believe that THEY are absolutely right or have "superior" knowledge, and that others are the "lesser" and are the "wrong- big- dummies".

This mean and sour arrogance, which uses power to belittle or harm others, is something that crushes and cripples hearts and dreams. It’s a secret and deep seething storm inside of the soul of those who feel they have “rights” and superior thinking that justifies “weaponizing words”. Yes... weaponizing!

 Words can deliver pinpoint missiles of pain, threats, ridicule, humiliation, subtle undertones of condescension but can also deliver payloads of healing, warmth, gratitude, encouragement, and above all, Hope.

As a believer, our faith should not be arrogant —nor should a person of faith belittle others! We should never use our faith or intelligence to pretend that we are superior or more informed than others! NO! NEVER!

Belittling is a form of bullying!  It’s when someone makes you feel as though you are little, minuscule, not good enough.

Proverbs 11:17 says, “Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel.”

 Arrogance is the opposite of humility, and humility is supposed to be a Christian virtue.  Jesus Christ who, in coming into the world and living and dying alongside of us, lived out what humility is.

You will never reach the place of honor or full use by the Heavenly Father, (and can actually be disqualified from many opportunities) until your insecurities and need to needle, belittle, compete with, or shame others is addressed, repented of and buried! And, when mentioning, “reaching a place of honor”, I’m referring to this as honor before the face and rule of God.           

 

If your goals in life are to have men honor you first...

…You will be one who certainly tramples others with your words.

 

Those who have the sickness of pride in their hearts, speak of others’ weakness and sins with contempt, irritation, frustration, or judgment. Pride is crouching inside of your meanness and belittling of the struggles of others.

It’s cowering in your jokes about the 'craziness’ of your spouse, the mocking of that, ‘too sensitive friend’. It may even be lurking in the prayers we throw upward for our friends that are — subtly or not — often tinted with the color of exasperated irritation.

 Listen to Proverbs 15:4 from The Message translation.

 "Kind words heal and help; 

Cutting words wound and maim."

 

Sometimes, we use sarcasm to voice harsh, or cutting words we otherwise would not say, often intentionally hurting others. Once the pain is inflicted however, we retreat, saying, "Oh, I was just kidding”.  But the sting of those words hurts so much that those we have injured, withdraw.

Our words don't feel like jokes at all.

 Jesus' words should be a warning to those of us who are tempted to use sarcasm as a weapon:

"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment

for every careless word they have spoken" (Matthew 12:36).

 

SARCASTIC REMARKS USUALLY SEEM LIKE “NO BIG DEAL”

TO THE PERSON WHO MAKES THEM.

BUT TO THE RECIPIENT, THOSE WORDS MAKE LASTING IMPRESSIONS

THAT SCAR TO THE VERY CORE OF THE HEART.

 

Many times, sarcasm shames a person, causing them to feel belittled and unworthy. When shame takes root in the heart, it can cause disastrous behavior, because the person now feels worthless and seeks desperately to find anything that will make them feel otherwise.

Shaming others is a serious offense with serious consequences.

Jesus said, "Your very words will be used as evidence against you,

and your words will declare you either innocent or guilty."

 (Matthew 12:37)

 

Are your words kind and constructive?

Do they desire to seek peace and unity, or are they driven by your fleshy desire to sting, aggravate, retaliate, tease, belittle, control, alienate, shame and manipulate through sarcasm? YES ... alllll of those HURT PEOPLE!

 

The enemy is camping out at the gate of your every relationship. Children, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, co-laborers and more. He is lurking around every corner, seeking to find that one open crevice where he can enter. If he has been entering in and camping out in your home or relationships through the use of sarcasm, it’s time to boot this verbal enemy out and lock the gate behind him.

Die to your need to be snarky and always the one with a chirpy sarcastic comeback! Allow Christ to show you His ways that love, peace and compassion can be the source of every word that proceeds from your mouth.

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility towards one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’

Humble yourself then!

Bow low under God’s mighty hand, that he may use you to the fullest at the proper time.  -1 Peter 5:56

 

Prayer of Brokenness and Confession

(I Highly recommend praying this out loud.)

 

Holy and All seeing Father God,

I confess now to You, that I do not always love my neighbor.

I confess that I have despised others, even to the point of hatred.

 I confess that I have been hurt by others.

I confess that forgiveness and reconciliation at times are just impossible for us.

I realize that I have spoken words that have broken people or have humiliated them and although asking for forgiveness, they have distanced themselves from me, and rightly so because they don’t want to take any more of my unkind words,

Father I ask you to heal them from the things that I have said that caused broken and crushed spirits. 

 Restore them; bring them Friends that will treat them kindly.

I know that nothing is impossible in You.

So, I come to You, seeking healing and wholeness for myself.

Heal whatever is inside of me that needs to speak poorly of others, or to speak down to others.

 Show me the parts of me that are insecure or needy.

Help me, whenever possible, to live in peace with others, to seek reconciliation and healing and forgiveness.

For Your Son Jesus came and lived among us, and was betrayed and denied, abused and put to death.

Yet, He rose again, and came with the message of peace to those who had denied Him and abandoned Him. 

Oh Father!  May I walk in His ways and model His kindness in my speech and actions.

 I pray this in Jesus’ loving name.

Amen.

  Duplication and sharing of this message is welcomed provided that complete article, podcast link and website information for Mary Lindow is included. 

Thank You Copyright © 2019 " THE MESSENGER "

Your Gracious Support and Donations Are So Very Helpful And Assist Mary In Publishing Her Teaching Podcasts and Blog Materials.

THANK YOU!

Please go to PAYPAL to donate
or support this blog: 

Donate to the tax deductible ministry name of: 

paypal.me/mlindow    (His Beloved Ministries Inc.) 

or
You Can Mail a Check or Cashiers Check to: 

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PO Box 1253 

Eastlake CO 80614 

United States

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 HOPE.png

By Mary Lindow

SUFFERING AND SORROW ARE A PART OF LIFE

Knowing this, however, doesn’t make it any easier to cope when you find yourself in the midst of the deepest, darkest trials of faith, and mentally anguish and strain.

Don’t you wish Christianity could make you exempt from suffering? That would be great, but as most of us have learned, following our faith doesn’t give us a free ride.

We catch as much trouble as unbelievers—often more.

The difference, of course, is that we can turn to Jesus when things go wrong. Unbelievers might argue that we’re only turning to our imagination, but we know better.

At some time in your life, however, suffering will hit you so hard that you won’t be able to do any of those things, and that dark time will probably visit you more than once.

“Even in darkness, light dawns for the upright,

for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.”

Psalm 112:4

 

WE ALL WANT THINGS WE DON’T GET.

Maybe it’s a person you’re sure would make a perfect spouse, and the relationship crumbles apart. Maybe it’s a better job or promotion, and you don’t make the cut. Or it might be a goal you poured your time and energy into, and it doesn’t come to pass or others sabotage it all.
All of us have prayed for the recovery of loved ones who were ill, but they died anyway.

It takes real spiritual maturity to stay faithful when things go wrong, but severing our relationship with God punishes us, not him. It’s self-destructive behavior that can put us on the path to a miserable life. The parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) teaches us that God always wants us to come back to him.

Whether your problem is discouragement, illness or aging,

sometimes all you have left is Jesus.

When you’re angry and bitter, you can still cling to Jesus in the midst of your tears. You can grab onto him and refuse to let go until he brings you through it. You’ll find, to your surprise that he holds on to you even tighter than you hold on to him.

 

JESUS UNDERSTANDS SORROW

He knows about being hurt. He remembers the terrible moment on the cross when his Father was forced to abandon him, because he was filthy from taking on our sins. Jesus won’t let you go.’

And as you age and start down the path from this life to the next, Jesus will take your hand to guide you. He appreciates all that you have done for him through the years, but what he has always wanted most is your love.

So there you are in the middle of one of life’s train-wrecks-dazed, wounded, wondering what shoe-or bomb-will be dropping next, and up walks Job’s comforters.

We all remember Job from the Bible. A rich, powerful man, a great father and good in every way was Job.

Then, in a series of overlapping upheavals, he lost everything and everybody except his wife-who turned out to be a whole lot less than sympathetic in her changed status.

Battered Job ends up sitting alone on a pile of dirt, scratching his boil-covered body with some broken pottery.

 

WE CAN IDENTIFY WITH POOR JOB.

Life drags us through some tough times of loss that make us feel every bit like Job. Caught in a vortex of pain, and wondering if we’ll ever make it to safety.

And, boy, do we recognize Job’s so-called friends who showed up to by all accounts offer support and comfort. As they sat with Job in his misery, they took turns playing a self-centered, self-righteous, can-you-top-this game of knowing for certain that every bit of Job ‘s disaster had to be his own fault or a lack of trust in God. They weren’t sure how or why because Job seemed so decent, but deep down, they insisted, he just couldn’t be all he pretended to be.

 

THIS IS FAMILIAR TERRITORY

You get fired, and friends smirk knowingly when you try to explain the political nature of the event. Your child gets into difficulty-well; you know the kind of comfort you’ll get from friends about that. (It probably started sometime during potty training.)

Yet others try to “help” you with what I call “prayer lecturing.” While praying “for and with you” they let you (and God) know just how lucky you should be to even have running water, had a meal that day and more! Not really comforting in any way, and very very short on compassion.

Yet, from the story, it’s clear that Job was completely innocent. Dreadful things do happen to completely innocent people, good people.
Because of their opinion of Job’s guilt, history has bestowed his friends- (and their current replicas) – the label, “Job’s comforters.”
So-called friends who add to a suffering person’s anguish by piling on false charges of blame and guilt and harsh reprimand for daring to show sadness or agony.

You may never have met anybody like Job, but you’ve met his comforters on more than one occasion. They seem to be everywhere.

 

WE CAN CHARGE SOME OF IT OFF TO JEALOUSY

Job had everything a person could dream of wanting-and then some-so jealousy was never more than a stone’s throw away. The green-eyed monster is a little more subtle with people living everyday, typical lives, but jealousy doesn’t need much ground to take root and grow with vigor.

 

WE DON’T WANT TO ADMIT BAD THINGS MAY HAPPEN TO US!

If bad things happen to people who don’t deserve them, they could happen to anybody, including me. If I don’t want bad things to happen to me, (who does?), I have to persuade myself and everybody around me that the victim’s actions caused the problem. If blame can be assigned, then I’ll be safe as long as I’m good.

In other words, if I can claim that the cause of your problem is something you do that I don’t do, then what happened to you can’t happen to me. There is, of course, n
o logic to this, but it brings some shaky comfort to frightened hearts.
We see this thinking at work when people stare numbly at adversity and ask, “What did I do to deserve this?” Sometimes the answer is, “nothing.”

 

HAVE YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF WHY ME?

And it doesn’t have to be bad; you could be excited from something wonderful. Most often then not I ask myself this after something I am looking forward to goes wrong.

Even at times when something goes wrong I lay awake at night and my thoughts wonder to what previously occurred. I am sure everyone does it at times, wishing for another try or chance.

You may lay awake thinking about your suffering, part of life’s suffering is misery’s shadow persisting/hanging on; not only do you suffer but you have to think about suffering.

I can’t prove this with statistics or find it any book I know of, yet I would say that more people either come to the faith or fall away because of this reason above all; the disturbance of suffering.


YOU SEE GOD USES TIMES OF SUFFERING…

...TO TEACH AND GROW US.

If you allow yourself to recount your sufferings, did you not learn more about faith while suffering then any other time?
 It has been said that; “Blessings are God’s whispers, he speaks in our conscience, but shouts to us in our suffering.”

“O my Comforter in sorrow,

My heart is faint within me.”

Jeremiah 8:18

Suffering becomes the only way to realize our hollow spiritual self. Pain is unmasked, and every person knows when something is not right when they are hurting. Pain insists upon being attended to.
So when you travel down this line of thought you come to the idea, why do I or someone else suffer when others don’t?

 

I KNOW SUFFERING IS EXHAUSTING AND PAIN HURTS

That is why it is called pain and suffering. If there were an escape a person of great wisdom and insight would have done it already. Yet Discipleship demands such trials to compel us towards renewal. Read Hebrews 2:10

God, for whom and through whom everything was made,

chose to bring many children into glory.

And it was only right that he should make Jesus, through his suffering,

a perfect leader, fit to bring them into their salvation.”

The real question is what to do when life has just punched us a good one, and Job’s comforters show up at our door. Nobody says we have to let them in. And certainly nobody says we have to entertain them. And, most positively, nobody says we have to believe them.

“For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives,

So also through Christ our comfort overflows.”
2 Corinthians 1:5

We can sort out the who’s-to-blame-for-what after we get some solid ground under our feet and a little energy back into our lives.

But we still won’t want Job’s comforters anywhere around us…

...We will want people who care.

"Compassion"

To me not to be kind
 is evil of the mind.

No need to pray or preach,


Let us our children teach
 with every fond caress,

Pity and gentleness:


So in the end may we 
God’s Kingdom cause to be.

Author - R.W. Service

Duplication and sharing of this message is welcomed provided that complete article, podcast link and website information for Mary Lindow is included. 

Thank You Copyright © 2019 " THE MESSENGER "

Your Gracious Support and Donations Are So Very Helpful And Assist Mary In Publishing Her Teaching Podcasts and Blog Materials.

THANK YOU!

Please go to PAYPAL to donate
or support this blog: 

Donate to the tax deductible ministry name of: 

paypal.me/mlindow    (His Beloved Ministries Inc.) 

or
You Can Mail a Check or Cashiers Check to: 

His Beloved Ministries INC 

PO Box 1253 

Eastlake CO 80614 

United States

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